thymelord:

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

fozmeadows:

flatluigi:

veliseraptor:

seagodofmagic:

veliseraptor:

okay but I did not know that there is a story about f. scott fitzgerald nervously showing ernest hemingway his penis because zelda said he couldn’t satisfy a woman with it and ernest hemingway was like “lol no dude you’re fine”

what are the modernists even

the best part of that story in context is that before they pull out their dicks, hemingway spends the better part of a chapter physically describing fitzgerald in great detail, claiming to be grossed out by him but obviously, obviously uncomfortably attracted

oh my god, it got better. I just went to find an excerpt and

Scott was a man then who looked like a boy with a face between handsome and pretty. He had very fair wavy hair, a high forehead, excited and friendly eyes and a delicate long-lipped Irish mouth that, on a girl, would have been the mouth of a beauty. His chin was well built and he had good ears and a handsome, almost beautiful, unmarked nose. This should not have added up to a pretty face, but that came from the coloring, the very fair hair and the mouth. The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more.

ernest hemingway calm down and control your thirst a little

“The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more“ is a hell of a line 

No Homo: A Literary Masterpiece

(via animentality)

onlyblackgirl:

thebeautysupplystore:

chiefxwill:

thebeautysupplystore:

gcodegfb:

unicornthief69:

gcodegfb:

thebeautysupplystore:

Ya MCM said ew when you told him you were on your period.
He’s 27.

That shit is forever nasty lol

How

Bruh like what are you supposed to do with it? Play in it? Come on now

Ya MCM thinks periods are nasty because he can’t play in it.
He was born in 1986.

periods arent nasty but woman arent supposed to have them its actually poor diet that causes them look it up just a fun fact 

Ya MCM thinks periods are a result of a poor diet.
He’s over 18.

Where did y'all find these males at?

(via slightmood)

bearfluff:

i can’t wait until october when there’s no sun outside and everything is cute colors and it’s cold and there are terrible horror movies on tv, my power is at its peak then

(via ugly)

summer depression aesthetic

ravehclaw:

• sleeping in way too late
  
• “oh no it’s 4 am and i’m still awake”
  
• mindlessly refreshing the same apps over and over
• picking up a book only to put it down because the words aren’t processing in your brain
• listening to the same three albums repeatedly
• either eating every snack you own within an hour or forgetting to eat for like half the day
• “if i don’t do my summer homework it doesn’t exist”
  
• wearing the same sundress three days in a row
• watching your friends hang out with each other as you stay at home and stare at the wall
• consistently forgetting to respond to people who text you
• reminiscing over past summers and how much fun you had then
• wanting the school year to start but also feeling Crushing Anxiety when you think of how soon it is
• drinking like a gallon of water every hour or not having any water all day and dehydrating
• unbrushed hair
• lying down on the floor
• “what day is it today”
• mosquitoes make you feel downright murderous
• watching movies only to get distracted
• even sitting around at home makes you tired
• this is not fun

(via gemathan)